Zoo Dyke

Zoo dykes is a slang term for a female zookeeper. Within the zoolological community exists a cult of personality that attracts some of the most ugly & frumpiest cat ladies one could imagine. Inspired by Disney movies, PETA, and their desperate quest for control these she-beasts have all but ruined the field. Unlike famous true female zoologists like Grace Olive Wiley and Jane Goodall who took great risks and earned their way to the top by an endless quest for knowledge, These evil khaki wearing trolls obsess over anthropomorphic “feel good” animal husbandry while putting little to no time into the actual craft itself. Very few read any scientific literature at all and if they managed to get cited in it is almost certainly because they had sex with the person who wrote the paper. Blowing older curators and directors at least again reminds them of their worthless McDonald’s salary existence. They obsesss over enrichment practices that many times stress out the animals and hypocritically chastise others who work with potentially dangerous species while performing sensationalized animal shows where they themselves take risks in order to show off their special “abilities” to “train” these incredible animals. Because they are so unattractive to men sexually and society as a whole they identify with their captive animals as they see them also helpless to control their surroundings which in turn comforts the fact that they are truly just glorified janitors with a name tag.

God I swear the true exhibit at the zoo is all these zoo dykes walking around on their power trip....