Cosmopolitan

A guide on how to be a worthless whore.

Bob: I heard that Kate reads Cosmopolitan.

Tim: So that explains the outfi- *drools uncontrollably*

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Jock

To tell if a person is a jock:

1. They are involved in EVERY sport, but does half of them to get the girls.
2. If they do anything related to video games, it most likely involves Call of Duty
3. Drives a tricked up sports car with mile-wide exhaust pipes and no roof.
4. Their futures have "McDonalds Drive-thru" and "eight STDs" written all over them
5. Considers anything not like them to be emo, autistic, or gay.
6. Barely passed 5th grade

In High School:

Jock: *Finds a straight-A student who trips over his many girls that he most likely will never keep*

Jock: Yeah you better run, queer boy!

20 years later:

Bill: Hey, you remember that jock that used to beat the crap out of us in high school?

Matt: Yeah? What's he doing now?

Bill: Without him, I wouldn't have this Big Mac! xD

*laughter ensues*

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