Omayra

A kind and caring girl who deserves someone better than I

“Omayra is so kind.”

9👍 1👎

Omayra

A beautiful person whose existence is a blessing upon this Earth. She’s adorable, has the best sense of humor, is extremely talented, and is my favorite person to talk to. If you’re lucky enough to ever meet her, don’t take her for granted. She’s everything anyone could ever want.

“Omayra is ethereal.”

4👍 1👎

Long john

A very looooonnngggg turd

“Omg! Did you blow up the bowl and then leave a long John?!”
“Sorry mother”

Takis

Satan reincarnated into tortilla chips. I can practically feel the sensation of my asshole burning all over again. I sat on the toilet in tears for 2 whole hours. I could feel the bowl quaking beneath me as the Takis I ate this morning spilled out of me like a brown waterfall. It burned. Oh, it burned. It took everything within me not to scream bloody murder. I was shaking upon the seat of my toilet. I bit my lip until it bled. I felt as if a mischief of rats had climbed into my asshole and begun consuming my anus tissue. I’m so grateful to have made it out alive. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for my dear toilet. A life was lost tonight at the hands of cheese and chili pepper Takis. My dear toilet, may you always be remembered. You were a real one. You put up with all of my shit, and it truly saddens me to see you go like this.

Person 1: “Damn man, you look rough.”
Person 2: “I ate Takis last night and was up until the ass crack of dawn shitting my brains out.”

25👍 7👎

October 18

National quit your assclowning day

“She’s such a fucking assclown I wanna eat her alive”
“Don’t worry, tomorrow is October 18, national quit your assclowning day”