Physician

A simp so in denial of being a simp that they will defend their "queen" until they are left socially and financially bankrupt. They tend to speak as if they know what they're talking about and try to come across as far more intelligent than they actually are.

Rational person: "Whenever that happens, people usually huddle up more to protect their mid-body because that's where your organs are."

Physician: "Mmmm... that's not... I'm a... I'm a physi... I'm a physician. And that's not entirely true."