New Providence

A small, middle-class, suburbian town in Northern New Jersey. New Providence lives in the shadow of neighboring towns Chatham and Summit. The kids at the high school are usually ignorant douchebags who know nothing about anything outside the shithole they call a town. Although there are exceptions, the guys at the high school think their hot shit but the reality is that they get their asses handed to them in almost every way possible. To make up for these deficiencies, they all like to show off their "hot rods". I hate to be the one who tells them this but that's not gonna get you anywhere buds. The girls at New Providence arent much better. Again there are exceptions, but for the most part they are artifically tanned orange pieces of mass who could care less about anything other than their skin tone. Their academics are on the decline and their sports teams are incredibly average, continually getting their asses kicked by rival, Governor Livingston of Berkely Heights. I don't even go there or live in Berkely Heights. There is nothing to do in town but hang outside CVS and Blockbuster in the Village Shopping Center or get stoned outside Friendly's. There are very few places to eat, and with the exception of Coppola's which does have extraordinary pizza, the majority of the food cannot be digested. To sum it all up, New Providence is an uncultured town that shouldn't even be compared to its neighbors Summit, Chatham and Berkely Heights (again I do not live in any of these places).

Teacher: Billy do you know the answer to this question?
Typical New Providence Student: ...no...but i have a nice mustang
Teacher: Now let's get an answer from somebody whose not a complete retard.

96👍 137👎