couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo

Phrase usually used to describe a sub-standard football player whose shooting ability leaves a lot to be desired.A variation on the classic phrase:"Couldn't hit a barn door from 10 paces".

"That Morientes fellow appears to be a waste of money.He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo."

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plasterer's pocket

Phrase used to describe the dryness of one's mouth in the morning,after a night out on the beer.

"Christ,I've got a hangover from hell and a mouth like a plasterer's pocket"

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