Manty Puddle

(noun.)

A phenomena that occurs when a man experiences sudden uncontrollable joy. This can be brought on by a variety of circumstances - all of which depend on food preference, likes/dislikes, and/or sexual orientation.

The "manty puddle" can range from a small quarter sized stain on the front of the man's pants (caused by the release of Cowper's fluid) to an entirely soaked leg (due urinary incontinence).

(In a hardware store...)

Husband: "Wow honey, would ya look at the blade on that circular saw! Can you imagine all the wood I could cut with that?"

Wife: "Would you mind telling the wood in your pants to settle down?! Are you developing a manty puddle darling?"

(At a college frat party...)

Bro 1: "Dude, did you see that top that Janice is wearing tonight? Those sweater puppies look like they could use some air. I'm gonna see if she'll let em out of the cage tonight!"

Bro 2: "Slow down turbo...you need to check your front deck. Is that Guinness on your grundle or did you just acquire a massive manty puddle from staring at Janice?!"

(In a Nursing Home...)

Granddaughter: "Here's your juice Grandpa. Use both hands and hold on tight!"

Grandpa: *Wheezes*

Granddaughter: "Oh look! The Price is Right is on!" *Theme Music*

Grandpa: *Moans, followed by a grin*

Granddaughter: "Oh Grandpa, not again! Your the only one I know who can destroy a depends with a manty puddle..."

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Fence Jockey

What you call someone who has an inability or difficulty in making decisions. Someone who is always "Riding the Fence." (They can't commit to one side or the other.)

or

A man who will eventually become sterile from actually sitting on fences, due to little or no blood flow to the testicles.

Bro 1: "Hey man, wanna come to my birthday party?"

Bro 2: "Maybe...it depends on if I gain the momentum to slide my lazy ass out of bed that day. I might just sleep instead. But a party does sound kinda fun. I dunno...(sigh)"

Bro 1: "Just tell me if you're coming or not, you freakin' fence jockey!"

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