platepourri

A colourful mixture of edible flowers, fresh young herbs, and assorted micro-greens scattered over an otherwise perfectly fine dish simply to satisfy Instagram posters. It seems to have emerged in the trendy brunch spots of Sydney and is spreading fast.

Mate, how’s the new brunch spot up the road?

It’s good but it was like the chef stole me mum’s potpourri from the back of her bedroom toilet and dumped it all over our meal.

That’s platepourri mate, it’s the scourge of this generation of young chefs.

anti-masker

An individual who does not believe in the effectiveness of masks to slow the spread of disease. They say that mask wearing is an act of fear and draw their bows so long, they equate the mandate of mask-wearing as psychological control by the man. Paradoxically some anti-maskers will show a particular reverence for the hallowed N-95 mask as these masks have both an “N” and a “95” and are made by 3M. These “masks” are often classified as respirators so some anti-maskers consider them acceptable especially if they have that hard plastic thingy on them.

“Why are you wearing a mask? A face mask won’t prevent you from getting covid-19.”

“That’s not how they work.”

“They are too porous and the virus can come through.”

“That’s not how masks work.”

“And the virus can just come in through your eyes, so you need to be wearing goggles too.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Plus the the virus can come in through the sides, but N-95s totally work, they’re made by 3M, and they’re green, and they have the hard plastic thing that makes them a respirator, not a mask.”

“I can’t believe I’m related to an anti-masker.”

87👍 49👎

sane-drain

The emigration of mentally stable individuals from a geographical location, workplace, or institution. As a surplus of wackos becomes apparent, relatively sane folk are forced to get the hell outta Dodge.

The car dealership had suffered from sane drain ever since the boss’s son-in-law was put in charge of human resources.

Sane-drain plagued the presidential campaign offices until the only workers left were too highly medicated to complete all but the simplest of tasks.

As the cult completed construction of their dormitories, sane-drain of longterm locals increased exponentially.

schadenfroyo

Increasingly common in the age of overly creative chefs, this is that special satisfaction or pleasure at another person’s unfortunate frozen dessert choice.

What’d you order?

I got one scoop each of Spamberry Crunch, Blueberry Borscht, and Pizza Dough.

Ha! Sucker! I got chocolate and vanilla.

You’re enjoying my disgust too much, this is classic Schadenfroyo.

Do you think I should get the Natto’n Honey, Pralines and Bream, or Whirled Peas?

Try them all! I feel some Schadenfroyo coming on.

rooting powder

One of many creative names for cocaine, equal parts Australian vernacular and plant cultivation humor.

Hey mate, you got any (sequentially; two sharp whistles, two back of the front teeth, tip of the tongue clicks, and two dual eyebrow raises) Charlie?

Come again?

Got any booger sugar?

Pardon moi?

Snow White?

Excuse me?

Rooting Powder?

Oh yes, right, cocaine. No worries.

etceterizing

etceterizing (verb) *et· ce· ter· iz· ing | \ et-ˈse-tə-rī-zing *

The act of adopting a sing-song or melodic cadence, where rhythm shifts from speaking to singing just before listing multiple items. This vocal modulation is often used to express tediousness or monotony, humorously embellishing or truncating the narration of a list. Etceterizing has largely replaced the once common use of "etcetera" in spoken language, offering a more lively way to imply that what you're saying might be considered obvious by the audience.

Alice: "For the picnic, I’ve got SANDwiches, SAlads, COOKies, and all the usual STUFF."

Bob: "Love how you etceterize; it makes the list sound so much more Seinfeldian!"

Dan: "This week, we're looking at data ANALYSIS, client FEEDBACK, and a whole slew of administrative TASKS."

Sara: "You really know how to etceterize the tedious parts, making them sound less DREARY!"

Doctor: "As for your treatment options, we're considering chemoTHERAPY, radiATION, and possibly some selective ampuTATION, depending on your initial reSPONSES."

Patient: "Doc, this is no time for etceterizing."

nanoaggression

Nanoaggression is a term used for commonplace verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities that are too subtle to qualify as a microaggression. Ranging from unintentional to nonexistent, these slightest of all slights subconsciously affect and are perpetrated by all peoples in all places. Differing from microaggressions, nanoaggressions are always delivered unconsciously and might possibly shine a spotlight on implicit biases. Nanoaggressions can only be detected by a highly sensitive third party observer due the nature of their imperceptibility.

Examples of nanoaggressions might include, but are not limited to, the following; smiling, not smiling, eye-contact, lack of eye-contact, listening, ignoring, greeting, overt shyness, contrived shyness, jogging, swimming with proper form, whistling a tune, hot sauce, a contrived preference for spicy food, Japanese curry, soups and stews, the wearing of pants, argyle, scarves, tennis shoes, tennis in general, coffee mugs, coffee in general, domestic travel, international travel, excessive reading, singing, waving, use of chairs, artwork in general, a preference for refined sugar, the drinking of light beers, the consumption of dairy products, the use of canvas.

I was at the supermarket the other day and this older woman let me cut in front of her because I only had a few items and her cart was full.

What sort of products were in her cart?

I don’t remember. Maybe food.

That sounds an awful lot like a nanoaggression.

I think you might be right maybe.