giggitybyte

An amount of pornographic data (equal to 1024 kilobytes) downloaded from the internet.

Dude, watching 3 hours of porn online will use one giggitybyte of your monthly internet allowance.... (crickets chirping) Uhhh, according to my cousin.

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surfer

A girl (or perhaps a homosexual male) of loose moral fiber - if it swells, she will ride it.

Dad: "Check out that naughty Mary Jane Rottenbox over there sleazing onto that guy."

Son: "Looks like a surfer to me - I think he's gonna pork her."

Dad: "Son, he's not gonna pork her."

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fresh-water jellyfish

The male ejaculate left floating in the tub or shower following masturbation, resembling the marine invertebrate. Generally non-poisonous.

"Dude, go ahead and use my shower but I know you haven't been laid for a while. I better not find any fresh-water jellyfish in there later."

"I would never do such a thing, mate. I'm offended you would suggest it... Any baby oil in the medicine cabinet?"

13👍 1👎

free-range cougar

A cougar you meet outdoors (100% organic) or in a setting that otherwise does not restrict her movement, as opposed to one you meet in a club or at a bar (ie - a "cougar conservation park").

"I'm sick of the same old cougars we see at happy hour - they come with so much baggage and seem so desperate. Meeting one while hiking or at the beach is the better move. That's where the sexy, healthy free-range cougars are."

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Poon Belt

A girl who has wrapped herself around the object of her affection, normally during sloppy kissing and with use of at least one leg, so much so that she essentially becomes a belt.

"My mate had this chick all over him outside the pub with both legs off the ground around him. Lucky mofo looked like he was wearing a poon belt!"

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DNA Smoothie

The organic beverage made with one single ingredient*: male sperm.

*Gay body builders have been known to add various protein supplements such as creatine or whey (not that there's anything wrong with this).

KPM: "Dude you'll know if she's naughty or not by whether she'll swallow the DNA Smoothie."

JT: "Oh yeah? What if she spits it out?"

KPM: "Never had that happen dude. Sorry, no advice."

tae mofo

Not a traditional martial art like tae kwon do, but rather the art of talking jive, trash or smack.

Wife: "How did you enjoy that massage, sweetheart?"

Husband: "Sheeeeeeeit, the ending could have been happier."

Wife: "What the hell is your problem?"

Husband: "Girl I got a black belt in tae mofo, you dig?"