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âSugar Man. n. Prematurely balding male who attracts the attention of women by telling fanciful stories of his sexual conquestsâ.
"Hi Ladies if lovin's the game, Sugar Man's my name. Just ask (insert random name of actress/female singer/female A-list celeb)".
(Listen for guffaws of laughter from everyone else)
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A psychological condition caused by suppression of their true sexuality. Typical symptoms of the condition include childlike name calling, frequent episodes of Tourettes style speech/text/emails, a complete failure to see the brighter side of life and repeating the mantra "we are all fucked".
Person 1: "It looks like there are hard times ahead"
Person with Ditchfield Syndrome: You fucking gay cunt, why haven't you responded to my text?
Person 2: You only sent it 30 seconds ago and I am phoning you back straightaway.
Person with Ditchfield Syndrome: You twat. Do you realise we are all fucked and even though I am good at my job, a lovely wife and healthy kids life is fucking shit.
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