Ohio

Second most boring state in the nation. Many seek refuge in other states in order to prevent their eventual transformation into an Ohioan; a half-dead species which points at deer whenever they see one in a field, is disgusted with all sports teams that are not part of The Ohio State University, is horribly disgusted with all who do not pronounce the "The" part of aforementioned college with pride, and requires a biweekly trip to Bob Evans in order to prevent starvation. We'd evacuate the entire state if we could, but the only place that would take us would be West Virginia, and we all know that's the only place worse off than us.

"Cedar Point is pretty cool. I mean, really, it is. I go there once every eight years and it compensates for the agony of nothing happening for the rest of my life."

- Entertainment in Ohio

"Hey guys, Ted Strickland just decided that five days should be taken off of winter break!"

"Hey guys, Ted Strickland just decided that snow days no longer exist, and that if we do miss a day on one than it has to be made up in Saturday during April unless we suspend our Spring Break!"

"Hey guys, Ted Strickland has just been voted out of office, just as his policies on school changes have taken place!"

- Politics+School System in Ohio.

"Why the fuck am I still here?"

- Most commonly asked question in Ohio.

"Because it isn't West Virginia."

- Unanimous rebuttal to the most commonly asked question.

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