January 13

National shlong day. If you were born on this day than you for sure have a monster penis, a gigantic gourd, or a big bertha downstairs.

Wow, you were born on January 13! You totally have a shlong.

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July 5th

July fifth is the day of celebrating being worse than your siblings. Chances are, your friends only hang out with you so they can get closer to the members of your family that they actually enjoy (your siblings). You are worse in all aspects when compared to your siblings including looks, humor, personality, etc. Basically, you just suck in contrast to your siblings.

Wow today is July 5th! It's the one day of the year where I can be proud of the fact that my brothers and sisters are much better than me!

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