eccentric

You're totally nuts, but you have money, so it's okay.

A: Did you hear what that guy did? He's stealing scabs and kicking midgets! He's fucking nuts!
B: Nah, he's rich, so we call it eccentric.
A: Oh, he's got money? Then it's fine, nevermind.
B: Kicking midgets is always fine.

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turdulence

1. The brick-shitting that results from in-flight turbulence, and the smell that follows.

2. When a person riding in a car really has to take a shit and a bump in the road causes an AFR.

3. One of the worst mistakes a dyslexic can make.

1. The captain told us we were hitting some heavy turbulence and every passenger over 40 totally gave in to the turdulence.

2. Driver: 'Looks like some turbulence!'
Passenger: 'Nah, that's turdulence. You better pull over.'

3. -_- (That was uncalled for.)

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