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Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
Kicking Mitchie is when everyone facing eviction or bankruptcy from COVID 2020-related lack of governmental financial support and relief, courtesy of Mitch "Bitch" McConnell's-led retarded assfuckery of a Republican Senate, shows up their local Republican congressperson's house on Christmas Day to take turns kicking him or her in the face. And the genitals. And then the face again. Then, its a first-come-first-serve free-for-all looting festival where the angry newly-impoverished American citizens steal everything not locked down from the property while making sure to leave as many piles of flaming feces in their wake. It is assumed that so much badly-needed catharsis will be felt during Kitching Mitchie 2020 that it will be cemented as a yule-time tradition for years to come.
If you thought Juneteenth was cool, you're gonna love Kicking Mitchie. Better show up early while the gettin's good.
|Verb| - To McGriddle is to order a breakfast sandwich such as McDonald's McGriddle and let it cool off while still in the wrapper. Then, after it has reached room temperate and you are feeling energetic, tuck the breakfast sandwich up under your nutsack and do 20 minutes of cardio to warm it back up and then give it to someone to else like you just bought them a free, hot sandwich. Naturally, they will be overjoyed and hastily gobble it down, while you feel a delightful sense of personal satisfaction in admiring your McGriddling handiwork.
Yeah bro, I McGriddled the shit out Dylan the other morning! That mother fucker smoked my last joint.
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Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is all the rage with todayâs TikTokkinâ youth, and also Ben Affleck. In order to play Jizzy Dizzy Kitty, you need:
1) A cat
2) A bed
3) A ceiling fan directly above the bed
4) The remote control for the ceiling fan
5) 12 feet of rope (a lighter gauge)
6) A step stool or 3-step ladder (optional)
7) A penis
8) A jar of Nutella
9) A cell phone with the TikTok app installed
Use the step stool or just stand on the bed and carefully tie the cat to the ceiling fan. Then, take your pants off and get in bed with the Nutella, the cell phone and the remote control to the ceiling fan. Carefully stuff your nutsack into the jar off Nutella and summon Satan or Beefassholebub or the demon of your choice. Then, turn on the ceiling fan. YES!!! Watch that kitty spin, dude! Let the catâs cries of pleasure(?) begin to stir your pleasure in the genitals, and when erect, bear down on the clown (or whatever you call your dick). If you have trouble getting erect, though, keep twisting the Nutella jar clockwise and redouble your efforts in summoning the forces of darkness until the fires of Hell start your loins aâ burning. The goal of Jizzy Dizzy Kitty is, and this may be quite obvious by now, to ferociously ejaculate all over the cat while it swings gaily from the ceiling fan. Keep on crankinâ down with one hand, and use the other to scrapple together a TikTok video of yourself alive with pleasure. Fuck dance challenges.
Yeah man, I heard even Doggface420 took the Jizzy Dizzy Kitty challenge.
Skittle Skootchin' is when you stuff a bunch of crayons up your ass and then draw pictures of yourself jacking off with your ass crayons, incessantly, like OCD-style.
Mom: I feel so ashamed having caught you Skittle Skootchin' again.
Son: Then please stop making me go to your lame ass church.
There comes a point in the life of a superstar where he's pleasured so much deliciousness that he can no longer continue. But his ego lives on. And so to continue to flaunt his profound man-prowess while simultaneously signaling to women that he's off the fucktrain but still of esteem, value and wealth, the tour de force will surgically have his testicles removed and then have 7 lucky gold doubloons sewn up inside instead, thus turning his scrotum into a JINGLEBAG.
Man, I heard Brad Pitt scored so much tang that he just didn't care about fucking anymore and went jinglebag.
A CHILLER is natural kink at it's finest. On a cold winter morning, wake up before the sun rises and hop in your car. Then, with the heat off, drive to your favorite natural scenic location (preferably a mountain overlook or a frozen waterfall), again, with the heat off. When you arrive at your location, park the car in a secluded spot. Then crank the fuck down with your freezing cold hands in your freezing cold car. Let your steamy fury frost the windows so as to protect your privacy from any onlookers. Let yourself erupt in a volcano of lust inside winter's cold chamber of frozen glory for a true fusion of sensory kink.
Fuck! I'm all out of oxycodone... How am I going to make it through work today?? Well, I'm up early - I think I'll head off to Mt. Sandalphon and relax with a chiller. That'll set me right.
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