thumb zombie

A person that idly scrolls through social media on a mobile device, often without even paying attention to the content. In extreme cases hours can be lost in this state. Interaction of any kind is impossible, one must wait for either a wifi drop out or battery low warning before engaging.

"Sue! You're such a thumb zombie, look at me when I talk to you!"

French shit

When a big turd kisses your cheek on the way out. Oft requires broader wiping.

I took a french shit just now, there's no wet wipes left