Tragically Delicious

ADJ.
Trag-ik-lee Di-lish-iss (rhymes with "Magically Delicious")

1) Used to describe an event that had befallen a foe which is sad, terrible, or tragic. One must enjoy said event.

2) Term used to describe a terribly unfashionable outfit or style that inexplicably works.

"My ex's new girlfriend is a total skank ho. Her ex hit on mine right in front of her. It was tragic... tragically Delicious!"

Fashion Gay #1: OMG, did you see what she was wearing?
Fashion Gay #2: I know! Cowboy boots with traditional Inuit garb? It's tragically Delicious!

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Fucker Punch

fuhk-er puhnch
-noun, verb

1. A blow delivered by an irritated person to a fucker or douche.

2. The act of delivering aforementioned punch to the fucker or douche, usually with incredible force and precision. The goal is to shut them the fuck up.

1. Having a scrapbook in one's possession is grounds for an immediate and lethal fucker punch.

2. Jeanette was out last Friday on a fucker punching rampage. She took out all five members of a local scrapbooking club and even fucker punched their collective 92 cats.

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Monsterbate

1. To masturbate in an intense and/or earth-shattering manner.

2. The form of masturbation someone monsterous in personality or appearance exclusively utilizes.

3. An actual monster's masturbation.

"He doesn't simply masturbate to Angelina Jolie, he MONSTERbates to her."

"The Undertaker is only capable of monsterbation - masturbation for him is out of the question."

"Cookie Monster has been known to monsterbate off the SCENT of a cookie alone."

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spanctuary

n. spangk-choo-er-ee

1. Safe location for undetected masturbation.

2. Hidden location for masturbation materials (i.e. dildos, vibrating love tunnels, pornography, vibrating douche nozzles, blow-up dolls, hamsters, stuffed animals).

3. The cry of a monsterbator seeking sanctuary.

"No one ever walks in on me when I'm in the walk-in freezer - it's my spanctuary."

"With over a hundred thousand gadgets, Morty had the worlds most comprehensive undiscovered spanctuary."

"'SPAAANCCTUUARRRYY!' cried Quasimodo, running in horror from the three leering gargoyles."

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Toss a fuck

taws uh fuhk
-verb

1. To casually sleep with - normally a one-time occurrence.

2. To provide sexual intercourse out of pity.

3. The sexual action of a loose individual.

1. Kristen Stewart is a hot piece - I'd toss her a fuck.

2. Herb is such an ugly fucking that I can't even imagine a 2-dollar crack whore would toss him a fuck.

3. She'd toss a fuck to anyone with a functional leg and a pair of needle-nose pliers.