farmer's kleenex

the act of blowing one's nose without a kleenex. this is typically done one nostril at a time by using the thumb to pinch off one nostril while blowing hard to clear out the opposite nostril. the procedure is then reversed to complete the act.

this is known, ironically, as the "farmer's kleenex" because farmers typically don't carry tissues with them in the field, so they just use this "tissue-less" method instead.

dude, i really have to blow my nose...do you have any tissues on you?

no man...looks like you'll have to use the farmer's kleenex!

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slave to the bean

refers to one who cannot exist in the absence of coffee. he or she is then "a slave to the bean"

Jill: I can't go anywhere until I have my morning coffee. No...I don't care how badly you're bleeding from the ears, Jack.

Jack: aaaaaaaaaarggh! i'm dying and you won't drive me to the hospital until you've had some coffee?!?! Jill, you're such a slave to the bean.

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urinal cop

short for "urinal copulator", this term refers to a man who is so insecure about the size of his penis (or about other men seeing his unit) that he stands absurdly close to the urinal while pissing. this gives any passer-by the impression that the man in question is actually trying to make sweet ceramic love to the urinal, rather than piss in it as normal males do.

dude, look at that urinal cop over there. i bet the splashback must be nasty. why doesn't he just back up a bit and arc it in?

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icam

IM/Newsgroup-speak for "I couldn't agree more"

NEWSGROUP POST#1: Drew and Cheryl totally deserved to win DWTS. And Cheryl is one smokin' hot pinay...she can ride this cowboy anyday :-)

NEWSGROUP POST#2: ICAM!!!!!!!!

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Dr. Phil

A morbidly obese poseur without a degree who calls himself "Doctor". Best known for sympathetically dispensing Magic 8-Ball level advice and shamelessly self-promoting himself at every opportunity (see Letterman, Oprah shows). Perhaps most offensive is the fact that this corpulent Walrus is selling people a *diet* book.

That fat-ass Dr. Phil is on Oprah shamelessly promoting his diet book called "eat less, jog more".

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elationship

This refers to a couple (friends, lovers, whatever) that know each other only via online correspondence (e-mail, IM chats, video rooms, etc).

A: Jasmine and I have a great elationship, dude.

B: Um, she lives in Vietnam, dude.

A: I know, but she writes very flirty e-mails. And her myspace is totally hott.

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on the grind

staying "on the grind" means to work hard, always be hustling, or otherwise engaged in money-making or woman-procuring activities.

people who were once poor and become wealthy might then become lazy and indolent and spend all day in champagne-filled jacuzzis whereas other newly-successful people might continue to work hard, thus "staying on the grind"

there are many examples from 50 Cent's latest release, "the Massacre", but i'll offer up two:

excerpt from "God gave me style":

A O.G. told me God's favorites have a hard time
You out the hood, that's good now stay on the grind


Chorus from "Bitch get in my car":

I got no pickup lines
I stay on the grind
I tell the hoes all the time
Bitch get in my car (Bitch get in)
I got my 64, ridin' on Dayton spokes
And when I open that do'
Bitch get in my car

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