Mailbox

Evil entities.

Lust for blood and pain.

You really think your mailbox is innocent? It isn't. Mailboxes are part of one big conspiracy. Mailboxes are evil. How many hours a day do you watch your mailbox? When you're not watching it their master plan progresses. You know that one weird sound you heard last night? It wasn't your neighbor. It was your mailbox finding it's way into your house. Now you know. Enjoy the time we have left on this earth before the mailboxes take over.

My mailbox was trying to kill me last night.