Chav

This is the incorrect spelling that the cockneys made up. The correct spelling and pronunciation is charv. It originated from charver or charva which was the gypsie name (reason for big hoop earrings) for small child in newcastle {geordieland). Since the time when this was all it meant the definition of charv has changed completely.

A charv is now a person who:

If A Girl:
Wears foundation so thick it makes their skin orange
Wears large hooped earrings
Has their hair tied back so tightly that it gives them a home-made facelift
Loads of "Bling"
Usually has a pram or stroller of some sort {or a bump}{or both}

If A Boy:
Hooped Earing in atleast one ear
Walks like hes crapped himself

Both:
Wears Burberry Caps
Wears Burberry Scarfs
Wears Tog 24s, Berghaus or Fred Perry
Wears Rock Ports
Usually smokes (fags or dope)
Talk Out the side of their mouth, often missing of letters
Is usually totally mortal {or in the case of wanna-bes fakes being totally mortal i.e. Beau Jay}
Thinks they are better than everyone
Usually are on dole (not that evri1 who is is necessarily a charv)(needlessly on dole that is)

You may get the impression from this that all charvs are evil but this is not the case. There are a small minority of charvs that do actually have souls and although they are evil to most uncharv people are kind and respectful to the uncharvs (and their m8z) that they have known for a long time. Don't get this wrong though MOST charvs are evil! There are only SOME that hav souls!

If you see a charv DO NOT look directly at them they may interprete this as ainvitation for a fight.
The following onversation showsa real discussion between two normal people and three mortal charvs on the metro (both of which had flouresant orange skin:

Male Charv 1: Here man hold this beer for uz
Female Charv 1: Nah man ill get picked up for dat like
Male Charv 1: Ai well me 2 man here am gun stand dova
dere
Female Charv 1: Ai man jus coz ur ambarrassed (laughs)
Female Charv 1: (to normal peep 1) Here av eida of u got
50p i can hav?
Normal Person 1: No Sorry
Female Charv 1: (to normal peep 2)(now slurring words) u?
Normal person 2: No soz
Female Charv 1: U betta not be lying to me
Female charv 2: Here a bet they av, bet u got loads of
dosh!
Normal person 1: No we really haven't
Female charv 1: Here babe that Sharon's preggaz agen
female Charv 2: Ai a nah but that Clarise aint and she's
like 17 god she mus b gay or summit
Female Charv 1: (laughing) yeah i nah hare u person
sittin there wanna c ma wrists (shows
knuckles, unable to demtermine between
the two)(knuckles are bruised and cut
from wearing bling during punch-ups) Dya
wreckons these hurt?
Male Charv 1: Oi man shuz up 4 once!
Female Charv 1: Ai wateva! Serusly dya reckon these hurt?
Normal Peeps: Silent
Female Charv 1: R yuz scared or summit? Ha ur cheeks r
red!
Normal peep 1 is thinking because i hav a normal skin tone and you would be this colour too if you were not covered in orange gloop (pleaz note that normal peep 1 is not saying this as she is a civilised person and would like to avoid a fight if at all possible.

(metro stops at station) (not normal peeps actual stop)

Normal Peep 2: (spoken to normal peep 2)(standing up)Erm
this is where my mate lives so this is
our stop
Normal Peep 1: Oh rite of course
Female Charv 1: R I bet they jus scared of uz (laugh)
don't get off cos of us
Normal Peeps, now at a safe distance as the metro pulls away: U mite wanna wash that crap of ya face!!!
Charvs: (face screws up and bangs on window)
Normal Peep 2: Time to home i think

chav
{soz it ses i hav 2 rite that in the example}

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