Parking Pirate

A Parking Pirate is someone who lurks in parking lots at malls and major retailers seeking out the best possible parking spot. These people will circle aimlessly, avoiding all the open spots at the back of the lot, until alas, they spot their mark...the shopper with bags in one hand, and keys in the other.

This pirate then creeps upon it's target, slowly following them as they make their way across the lot. They're watching you. They're following you. They are going to pillage you for your spot.

As you get closer to your vehicle, their blinker goes on. Avast! They're set to drop anchor. Fire in the hole!

There's always so many Parking Pirates at the mall right before Christmas.

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faffled

A combination of "friggen" and "baffled".

I just don't get it...I'm completely faffled!

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