textertain

1. a text message or series of text messages employed to hold the attention of pleasantly or agreeably

2. to divert or amuse an individual otherwise unable to do so oneself via text message

3. a cellular distraction from an otherwise mundane activity

Ashley: Chris can you please send me a riddle? I am losing my sh*t at work.

Christopher: Not a problem, I'll textertain while you are at work.

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instant pleasure

As far as I am concerned (being female and all) it is immediate gratification. Usually expidiated with the assistance of a dildo, vibrator or the good 'ol finger trick.

Ashley received instant pleasure after double clicking her mouse.

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Muff Piggy

Of or pertaining to sapphic relations; a woman who finds herself performing cunnilingus; female, same-sex relations.

That Ashley, she is such a muff piggy.
Look at the girl, she is without a doubt a muff piggy.

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muff buster

Of, or pertaining to a muff that is so ridiculously large it busts in your face as you try to go down.

Kasia's bush is a muff buster. Kasia's rug muff busted in Justin's face.

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