Houser

A man who denies he is homosexual, although he is obviously and blatantly gay. He is so gay, that his ears are stretched out from hundreds of men using them as handles while he performed oral sex. Although he is meek, mild and viewed as a pussy by straight men, his constant self loathing has created an extreme hate of America and veterans. A Houser will often have a girlfriend, but the relationships never go anywhere. Girlfriends are merely a feeble attempt to conceal his homosexuality. To get mental relief from living a lie, a Houser will drink and dance in a flamboyant manner. The origins of the homosexuality can often be traced back to high school wrestling, when the Houser used the sport as an excuse dress in a tight singlet and roll around with men.

Todd: “I was stopped by an obviously gay police officer today. I tried to get off with a warning, so I started flirting to arouse the cop. He meekly denied being gay, and issued me a ticket.”

Tim: “I know that Officer, he’s a Houser!”