tom cruise

4ft 2' tall actor brainwashed into scientology. His film characters have a continuing theme that can be broken down into 3 clearly identifiable segments:

1)Beginning - He is the best at what he does (such as flying planes or driving cars)

2)Middle - Has a crisis of confidence (such as a friend dying) but meets love interest who helps him.

3)Ending - Pulls through it and returns to being the best at what he does (such as being a pilot).

Tom Cuise is now perhaps most famous for his sham marriage to Katie Holmes and being a couch jumping Scientologist who doesn't like being squirted with water.

Richard: I saw a Tom Cruise film last night

James: Which one?

Richard: I can't remember exactly, it started with him being the best at what he did, he had a crisis of confidence, but pulled through it in the end.

James: Well that doesn't narrow it down at all!

Richard: Y-You're a jerk, you're a jerk!

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lotus notes

A piece of crap email and data base client server. It has millions of user throughout the world, however you won't find anybody who considers it easy to use.

Interfaces are difficult to navigate and the programme often crashes or stays hanging, requiring the user to restart the application or completely reboot the computer. It is characterised by ugly colour schemes and unecessarily tedious command requirements to carry out simple tasks. Want to see an email attachment with just 2 mouse clicks? Forget it. The use of Lotus Notes is scientifically linked to rage disorders.

As one website puts it, it is "the digital equivalent of being kicked in the groin upon arrival at work every day"

Welcome to your new job Sir, here we use Lotus Notes...Sir, why are you running away? Sir...Sir!!!

76👍 6👎

Scatch

A sub-standard beach game involving two small round velcro pads strapped flat against the palm of the hand and a fluffy tennis ball. It took the British beach holiday by storm in the nineties until it's flaws came to light. These being that the pads were useless if they came into contact with sand and the ball likewise with water. There were many children left dissapointed with Scatch, I was one of them.

Look at those two kids over there, their Scatch isn't working either!

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traveller

An alcoholic beverage, usually a tin of lager that is taken for consumption on public transport en route to the pub/bar/club

John, taking any travellers for the train?

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fairy flying

First used in popular culture in the 1980's film Style Wars. The term is used to describe a move or an action such as one in breakdancing that looks impressive to the untrained eye but is not actually difficult to execute.

Hey, Did you see that peg wheelie? that was sick.

Nah man, he was just fairy flying.

Playdo fists

A fat persons hand upon making a fist. Because of the excess fat around the hands, knuckles are not defined. This means the fist is blob like and sometimes they have small dimples where pronounced knuckles can be found on the hand of a person of average build. This gives the appearence of a childs sculpting of a hand from child friendly Playdo modelling clay.

Having Playdo fists restricts the owners ability to deliver an effective punch if needed.

As Lucy sat writing her essay I noticed she had playdo fists

4👍 1👎

bang in your face

Used by Radio 1 (UK) DJ Tim Westwood (see wigger). The phrase is used to denote a track or compilation of tracks that Mr Westwood believes you may enjoy. The phrase, along with others are most commonly shouted in an over exaggerated manner.

This album is full of the latest licks and big hip-hop things. This album will BANG IN YOUR FACE!!!!!