Do farts have lumps?

Question asked by an unfortunate individual who has just shit themself. Basically, they sharted. Treat this with good humour, but at a fair distance upwind of the individual.

DUDE 1 : Hey, lets go cropdust that fat guy outside Wal-Mart!
DUDE 2 : Okay!
DUDE 1 : (near fat guy) (silent fart) (thinks in head : OH YEAH! SNIFF THAT ASS CLOWN!)
DUDE 2 : (near fat guy) (BLOODY RIPPER) (thinks in head : Do farts have lumps?)
FAT GUY : You sick bastard!
HOT CHICK : That man is my hero! I want to screw madly with him in the bathroom stall!

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Triumph

70s and 80s Canadian Rock-Metal band consisting of 3 members: vocalist/guitarist Rik Emmett, bass guitarist/keyboardist Mike Levine and vocalist/drummer Gil Moore. Probably most well known for their songs "Lay it on the Line" and "Fight the Good Fight", The members of Triumph also conquered the art of arena rock and received the influential Performance Magazine's "Innovators of the Year" award in 1981 for the unique way they changed the arena rock landscape. Using state of the art pyrotechnics and light shows, Triumph's awesome shows became their defining feature.
After the bands formation in Toronto in 1975, the band released its first album in 1976 and several records have been released since that time. No brand new records have been made in the last couple years, but Triumph still remains strong and recently released the Triumph Anthology. Triumph can still be heard on the air waves on Classic Rock and Modern Rock stations, and their fan base remains loyal even today.

Perhaps not as famous of a Canadian Rock Trio as Rush, but Triumph's Heavy 80s Metal Sound still remains today.

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Weird Uncle

That creepy bastard who never got married and scares the shit out of other family members. He usually has a unibrow, 1970s style big glasses, a toupee, and is really short. Often seduces young children and makes movies of the experience in his basement. Also known as the black Sheep in some cases

When I was but a wee lad, my Weird Uncle Andre took me to a baseball game. Then he took me home and made a video of me naked with a monkey in his basement. I rather enjoyed it then, but now I'm as scared as hell of that sick bastard...well, at least I was before he got sent to prison and gangbanged.

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Guy Like

Pronounced "Gee like". This is a disturbing yet memorable quote from Guy LeDouche on MXC. Your name doesn't have to be Guy to say it, but it's funniest when said as GUY LIKE! instead of FRED LIKE! etc. In writing, a proper following statement to GUY LIKE! is AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!. Which is Guy's perverted laugh. The proper uses are :
1) After an idea, statement, or action you like has been proposed or said.
2) In a romantic situation, it can be considered playful.
3) When that skanky ugly bitch with the mole at the tavern is hitting on you again. Should be shouted as loud as possible with the word "not" inserted.

1) Dude 1: "Hey, let's go buy some cheap beer and some porn."
Dude 2: "GUY LIKE!"
2) Chick: "Hey, wanna have some fun big boy?"
Dude: "GUY LIKE!"
3) Skanky ugly bitch: "Hi Jim. You're a sexy beast! Wanna have a little fun tonight with just you, me, the mayor, Jerry, Bill, Hairy Sacks, Hugh G. Rection, The president, Warren Zevon, ZZ top, the Pope, the entire population of Denver Colorado and Donny Baker?"
Dude: "GUY NO LIKE!"

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liquor store

A wonderful place that sells great liquor like Jack Daniels for instance. I used to live in a liquor store and would steal the sacred booze, but then I had too much Old Grandad and went streaking past the manager with a bottle in hand, a 3 ply roll of toilet paper wedged firmly in my anus with some flying out behind, "Spank it" written on my chest with sidewalk chalk, my hair in a Mr. T mohawk, and then I puked and slipped in it, and was pummelled viciously by a group of bikers. Then they discovered my home underneath the bathroom floor. Now I'm poor and live in a dumpster outside the liquor store, drinking the few drops of alchol filled goodness left in the emptys. Please, if you smell a fishy, rotting apples smell near a liquor store, pass me some. I'm so lonely....and sober.....

Normal people will go to Liquor Stores to buy hard booze (80 proof and up) and then will usually be sissys and drink it with a cola beverage. Drink it straight!
I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo high right now.................................... heeheehee(hiccup).....passs meee anotha 'un billy bob!

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I'll have you know that I was drunk

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

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Brick Layer

A person who takes a monstrous dump in a public bathroom and doesn't flush. Usually there is a posse of poopers like this (a Brick Layer's union) who will build an unflushable wall of turds. This is mainly done to offend people and piss them and the janitor off.

I was going to take a shit at the Dollar General crapper, but a bunch of brick layers had been there and clogged the toilet up. I admired their pile and wished I could lay such a brick but sadly, I haven't had a solid turd in years.

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