Ernst & Young

Essentially a pyramid rip-off scheme Amway would be proud of, the accounting firm Ernst & Young (aka EY) stands as a shining example of why people are willing to accept communism as alternative to a market society. The EY meat grinder is powered by recent college graduates looking for a door into upper-middle management. At the top of the food chain sit the partners and senior managers who glut themselves on the labors of their staffers. Typically, the best staffers are quickly offered more palatable positions at other companies, while others grow tired of the abuse and leave. The unimpressive few that remain are eventually made partners only because they lack the emotional maturity to handle a leadership position in any other industry. The prime directive of the partners is to seek revenge for the countless years of torture they endured as being the awkward kid in high school always picked last for any event. To fill this duty, they seek out any employee under their control with a life and destroy it. This pyramid scheme only works because the capital markets and government either do not know, or do not care, that 90% of the procedures performed to arrive at the all-important audit opinion was performed by a group of disgruntled staffers who graduated college less that 3 years ago and have been over-worked to the point of insanity.

Your company gave you a $3 gift card to Starbucks for your birthday? That's so Ernst & Young.

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