Jared

The largest douche bag on the planet. Has both mommy and daddy issues. Fails to comprehend even the most simplistic sentences and ideas. When he speaks everyone who hears it is instantly made dumber. He fails in school, in life, and in every other way possible. He is more unattractive than a $20 dollar a night motel bathroom. He thinks that the world is flat and that science is something you drink. His clothing choices have all the charm of a Klan rally. Jared likes his mom... a little too much. Jared is descended from a long line of complete morons, and he lives up to the standard his ancestors set.

Jared is the douche bag that married dated his mother.