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food fight

A food fight, a common staple in numerous low-budget American children films, involves the flinging of various consumable goods, including both food and beverage, across a room. A food fight typically commences with the exchange of various innocuous food items, whereupon a relatively rotund blond-haired child with a buzz cut shall stand upon a table and declare, "FOOD FIGHT!". In the same sense that the unexamined life is not worth living, an undeclared food fight is not worth fighting: an undeclared food fight, or a food fight that is improperly declared, shall typically be viewed as invalid.

Various reputable American children's networks feature food fights exceedingly frequently; it is a relatively uncommon occurrence to view either one such film or five consecutive episodes of such programming without witnessing a food fight of some sort. Unfortunately, numerous recent programs have compromised the genre, featuring declarations by relatively thin persons or even including undeclared food fights, an anathema to those schooled in the true art.

Joey, feeling rather distraught and dejected, flung his breakfast burrito haphazardly across the room. He realized his mistake when he witnessed said burrito strike another student across the face, whereupon BJ, the school fat kid, stood upon the table and bellowed out in a rich, mellifluous voice, like so many Sirens wooing Odysseus, "FOOD FIGHT!".

by Jimmy Flinders April 29, 2007

120👍 17👎


Are you OK circle

An "Are OK circle" constitutes a playground artform practiced on various elementary school campuses across the United States. Generally, whenever an individual sustains injury whilst engaged in sport or simple frivolity, he or she shall fall to the ground and commence spinning in either a clockwise or counterclockwise direction. Once the injured individual has commenced the ritual, various other playground denizens shall congregate in a circular to elliptical shape around said injured person and spin in the opposite direction (e.g. counterclockwise if the injured party chooses to spin in a clockwise fashion), whilst stating vigorously, "Are you OK? Are you OK?".

Perfected at Quail Creek Elementary School in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma in the late 1980s and early 1990s, the Are you OK circle can become intricately complex, featuring various interlocking rings spinning in opposite directions. Considered by some observers as a form of modern art, the Are you OK circle has gradually degenerated over the years, becoming rather disorganized and haphazard.

Ronald James D'elco III wished to achieve a rather laudable record in the standing long jump competition during Physical Education class. Thus, following his landing, he proceeded to collapse to the floor and roll across the ground, seeking to garner sympathy and attain a greater distance. Furthermore, wishing to exploit the theatrics to the fullest, he also began to spin wildly upon completing his rolling, prompting droves of observers to race to his side and state repeatedly, "Are you OK?" whilst forming an Are you OK circle loosely based upon the famed Mandelbrot set in fractal geometry.

by Jimmy Flinders October 23, 2007

51👍 13👎


smoothie

A smoothie, a common American beverage in which the preparer integrates various fruit and dairy products, has become the de facto staple of cuisine in various Disney Channel and Nickelodeon television series. What ambrosia comprised to the residents of mythical Olympus, or manna constituted for the Hebrews in the ancient text of Exodus, the smoothie has become to the modern Disney Channel Original Star.

As a general rule, any character in a Disney Channel or Nickelodeon series must engage in one of the following activities: (a) partake of smoothies on a regular basis; (b) patronize smoothie establishments repeatedly, whether or not actually partaking thereof; (c) either serve as the founder of a smoothie establishment or possess a parent who owns or operates a smoothie establishment; or (d) profess love of the smoothie on a regular basis, whether or not actually consuming such during filming. Though no character has actually evinced the mettle required to do so, expressing distaste or even indifference towards the smoothie would comprise the utmost blasphemy against all that these two esteemed television stations hold dear.

Gordo (with utter obsequiousness): Lizzie, should you deign to condescend to partake of a smoothie whilst accompanying me to "The Juice is Loose," I should feel deeply honored.

Lizzie (with utmost solicitude): Forsooth, I should greatly enjoy accompanying you thereto, and I should feel exceedingly edified to effect such.

Miranda: Awesome-- Smoothies! That'd really hit the spot right about now. We are OUTTIE!!!

Gordo: You shan't invite this vulgar, pidgin-speaking cretin to accompany us thereto?!!

Lizzie: But Miranda's been our friend, like, for forever!!

Gordo: And you certainly shan't defile yourself by engaging in her vulgar colloquialisms?

Miranda: Since when did Gordo become the WORLD'S BIGGEST JERK?!!

Gordo: Indeed!

by Jimmy Flinders October 29, 2007

187👍 74👎