Work like fuck

When the only option is to work really hard to get a job done.

John: "Have you done that report? It's due today."
Ash: "I haven't started it. I don't think I can get it done today."
John: "What if you work like fuck?"
Ash: "If I work like fuck, I can get it done."

Split Screen Reality Wank

When you have a wank over someone you know who looks like an actress in a porn film. You split your screen to show the woman you know on one side of the screen (perhaps a Facebook photo) and the porn video with actress who looks like her on the opposite side.

Brian: "You coming down the pub mate?"
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."

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Facebook wank

When you log on to facebook, the first girl you see that has updated their status, you open up a picture of her and have a wank.

"I had a facebook wank last night!"
"What's that?"
"I logged on, saw Sarah at the top of list opened up a picture of her and had a wank!"
"Sounds good!"

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