whelmed

When you're not overwhelmed, or underwhelmed. You're just neutral.

"How are you, Ginger, my love, my dove, my fire?"

"Oh, fair strapping lad, I am whelmed, that is all."

Mungulated

Anything mutated beyond repair.

"Since playing with that chainsaw, my bloodied finger is mungulated!"

"Corinne has got the most horribly mungulated face!"