Ouch I bit my lip! :(

Something you say when you bite your lip.

Could be changed to "Ouch I bit the inside of my cheek!"
Since they both hurt, and the likelihood of it happening again grows after every time you do it again.

And that shit hurts. A LOT.

Me: Ouch I bit my lip! :(

10👍 6👎

Assgasm

When taking a huggeee crap, right as it drops into the water of the toilet, it creates a huge splash. The water from the splash then shoots up into your rectum causing a cold tingling sensation, somewhat like an orgasm, but cold. Thus causing an assgasm.

me:Dude i had to take a major shit, but the fucking splash gave me an Assgasm.

7👍 62👎

Land

The shit that you walk on. (unless on a boat or plane....Or on crutches/in a wheelchair) heheh

I'm on land motherfucker

33👍 20👎

Schwimmwagon

A boat car-hybrid

Schwimmwagon,get it? Swim-wagon?

9👍 1👎

Julumber

A month that you use to get out of things that you don't want to do. Pronounced "Jew-Lumber". It often only makes people think you're a huge a-hole.

Guy 1: Hey when are you gonna get those survey results?

Witty jackass: On the 32 of Julumber

Guy 1: Prick...

7👍 1👎