Flock of Bats

Uncontrolled, violent and quite frightening bowel action, often obliterating the original finish of the toilet bowl. Similar to a Flock of Sparrows, but done with the lights out.

Christ, I had to shit in the dark in the en-suite so as not to wake the wife, and after that vindaloo it was like a flock of bats. My subsequent actions with the toilet brush were akin to the labours of Hercules.

13👍 1👎

Clit Car

Slang for a very common type of car or automobile. In the UK for example something like a Ford Fiesta or Focus, in Germany a VW Golf or Mercedes A Class. So called, because every cunt's got one.

I just couldn't bear to buy a Clit Car, so I bought a Bentley instead.

20👍 17👎

Knobtoss

Alternative word for a wanker, stupid bastard, dozy cunt or similar.

Look at that fucking knobtoss over there in his BMW 318i.

1👍 1👎

wild shites

Attack of diarrhoea, in which there is catastrophic loss of sphincter control in the victim. Certain to result in a very unpleasant scenario, with shit running down the legs of the victim's kecks.

Jeeeeesus, those oysters I ate last night gave me the wild shites. I thought I would surely shit my entire gastrointestinal tract, tonsils to rectum, out through my sphincter.
Best I avoid raw seafood in future.

14👍 2👎