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An expression of irrational anger, used to convey that an individual has reached the boiling point, but usually misinterpreted as a severe physical disorder.
Mike: I don't feel as though your team is connected with the project.
Howard: How can you say that to me?! I'm so pissed over here, I'm spittin' blood! Pew, plah, plaaaaaah!!
Mike: Should I call a doctor?
An ineffective form of management involving steep and sudden changes in direction with seemingly no pattern. People who adopt this form of management often create contradictory directives.
Julie: It's 4pm, I'm off. See you tomorrow.
Karla: What? You don't just leave at 4pm. There are still open issues to resolve.
Julie: Understood, I'll finish up.
Karla: Look, you can't just assume that we can pay you overtime. Your shift ends at 4pm, so if you stay later you need to get it approved first.
Julie: Are you certified in schizomanagement?
Doctor: Would you like me to circumcise your newborn?
New Mom: Hmm, should I?
New Dad: What? Maul his cock? Ah fuck it, go ahead...
YMV is a word game intended to fool unwitting participants into asking a "where" question so that the respondent can reply with an answer ending in "your momma's vagina."
Jake: Check out this wrist watch. You wouldn't believe where I found it.
Micky: It's nice, where'd you get it.
Jake: Your momma's vagina!
Micky: Crap, YMV...
Roy: I was up late last night. Know where I went?
Albert: Where dude?
Roy: Your momma's vagina!
Albert: Dude I suck at YMV!
The irrational belief by employers and supervisors that making use of a BlackBerry phone during the business day will result in a lack of productivity. Micro managers are usually afflicted by this disorder.
Susie: I'm off. I'm going to call my friend for a ride home.
Jojo: Down. Susie, down. Down. Put it down.
Susie: What the hell are you talking about?
Jojo: Down, berry down. Put it down. Down, put the berry down. Down, put it down. Down. Down.
Susie: You have Berry Down Syndrome, get help!
When a manager forcefully or dramatically closes the door when a subordinate enters his or her office, an action used to notify nearby employees or passers-by that the subordinate is in trouble and is about to be disciplined.
Jim: Wow! Karla slammed her door when Peter walked in.
Kelly: Yeah, she's door flagging. Peter was late again and Karla wants us all to know we're fucked if we start showing up late too.
A person who miscellaneously asks for someone else's thoughts on a particular subject, usually to fill an uncomfortable silence or to hide the fact that the person knows little about the subject.
Jeff: We have a fair amount of bug fixes to address. Thoughts?
Jake: Uh yeah... you're right.
Jeff: The deadline is tomorrow. I need you to finish by then.
Sam: We can't, they added too much to the spec.
Jeff: It's really important that we do. Thoughts?
sam: Being a thought bot doesn't get this shit done, pal.