Random
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Random
When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.
I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.
An atheist who is just as blindly sure there is no God, as the religious people are blindly sure there is one. Not to be confused with an agnostic, who thinks humans are incapable of knowing for sure what's really out there.
I was talking to this Faitheist recently and he was so damn sure his views were the right ones that he reminded me of an evangelical christian. Check your ego homie, you don't know shit.
21π 60π
When a woman seems receptive to physical interaction (fucking, sucking, fondling, etc.), but when you actually get down to it, she's real uptight about having sexy fun time and if you try she'll hurt your genitals.
A hairy cactus LOOKS soft and touchable, but if you try to play with it, you're gonna get a painful reminder.
Dude, I met this girl at the bar last night and she seemed down for some wild shit, but when I got her to my house she turned out to be a major hairy cactus, kicked me in the nuts and took off with my ipod!
19π 4π
When you are sitting on your couch, feet up on the coffee table, laptop on your lap. 4-10 hours later you are in an entirely prone position with your legs off the edge of the coffee table and your head on the seat cushion. You become completely unresponsive to your surroundings.
Loss of peripheral vision, amnesia, severely reduced motor function ability, and drooling with one eye closed are common symptoms.
I got online this morning to check my email and mess around on facebook for a bit. Next thing I know it's 7pm, my legs are totally numb, and I have this nasty trail of dried drool down my chin. That internet coma completely ruined my day!
7375π 1257π
A Chinese person who works all the time.
Dude, the people that work at that Chinese place up the street are some serious Chinese Mexicans. It seems like they are working there all the time!
30π 19π
A Japanese woman (or man) who really, really, really enjoys anal sex.
Dude, I was banging this tiny little Japanese girl, and I didn't even know she was a Japanese astronaut. She was basically begging for me to fuck her in her ass. What? Of course I did it.
15π 3π
The act of pooping on the roof of an unsuspecting person's car late at night, preferably close to the edge of the drivers side door then sticking yellow Marshmallow baby chicks into it, resulting in subjecting the car's owner to the sight before they enter it the next morning.
Man, that smelly-ass freeloader has been getting on my last nerve, maybe a midnight Mexican bird's nest would make him get the point.
25π 3π