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The recommended amount of penis a woman should have daily to avoid the symptoms of depression, anxiety, and low self esteem.
I noticed that Jane had been a bit down in the dumps recently, so I gave her a dose of dick. It cheered her right up!
A skinny Venezuelan girl that you take home drunk, only to find out the next morning that she's butt ugly.
I thought I was so fucking smooth last night, but I must have been wasted because this morning my present was a Venezuelan hand grenade.
When you're having anal sex, and it's so rough that it feels like there is a little guy in there karate punching your insides.
So I was butt fucking this girl last night. When we were done, she told me that I give some of the most brutal anal karate she's ever had.
When a woman seems receptive to physical interaction (fucking, sucking, fondling, etc.), but when you actually get down to it, she's real uptight about having sexy fun time and if you try she'll hurt your genitals.
A hairy cactus LOOKS soft and touchable, but if you try to play with it, you're gonna get a painful reminder.
Dude, I met this girl at the bar last night and she seemed down for some wild shit, but when I got her to my house she turned out to be a major hairy cactus, kicked me in the nuts and took off with my ipod!
Mexican tin foot happens when you work a double shift and your feet feel like they are made of metal afterward.
Dude, I'm gonna have to work 14 hours today, I'll probably end up with Mexican tin foot.