relativity

The phenomenon in which extreme environmental factors (especially speed greater than the speed of light) change our perceptions of the same objective amount of time.

"Put your hand on a hot stove for two seconds and it seems like two hours. Sit with a beautiful girl for two hours and it seems like two minutes. That's relativity." - Albert Einstein

"When a girl says she needs two minutes to get ready, that's the same thing as when a guy says there's two minutes left in the football game. That's relativity." - Johnny Damon

47👍 42👎

mane

Pronunciation of "man" in Bay Area (California) slang, made popular by rappers like E-40 and Too $hort.

"It's the Bay, mane,
No other way, mane."

460👍 299👎

teh hawt

Extremely beautiful. Used almost exclusively in written form.

Dude, Jessica Alba is teh hawt.

45👍 4👎

hurricane ethel

Drink of choice of Bay Area rap icon E-40. Here go the recipe, in his own words: "151 Bacardi Dark, Bacardi Light, Triple Sec, Grenadine, pineapple juice, and an empty container of Arrowhead water. Put it all in one and you got some good shit." I assume a Poland Spring bottle will also suffice for those of us on the East Coast.

"If you ain't got your Hurricane Ethel, you best go fetch it ASAP."

40👍 4👎

steak

A lunchtime game made famous by the show Scrubs. The first person to finish his steak is the winner of steak. Dr. Christopher Turk, surgical resident, is the reigning champion.

J.D. (after losing at steak and stuffing an Otis Spunkmeyer in his mouth): "I win at cookie."

47👍 69👎

Curse of the A-Rod

The hypothetical curse that befell the Yankees as soon as they signed Alex Rodriguez, sending their payroll to over $200 mil. Their All-Star 1st baseman suffered from steroid withdrawal and maybe a pituitary tumor. Roger Clemens had a dominant year in Houston. Bernie became the worst defensive CF in the league. And then, the 2004 ALCS, the biggest choke job in sports history, in which Mariano became mortal and A-Rod showed his cheating whiny bitch glove-slapping soul to the world.

"Fate had to intervene for the Sox to win. It was the Curse of the A-Rod."

29👍 18👎

dinner whore

A girl who is exclusively after a free meal or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants. She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men, until they spend a certain number of dollars on her. Nobody knows exactly what that number is, so the man keeps spending and spending, while the dinner whore keeps living it up.

As a mere graduate student living on a stipend, it is impossible to find a date in New York, as it is saturated with dinner whores.

2172👍 411👎