LUCKY SHIT

When you take a shit and wipe and get the pleasant surprise of finding no shit on the toilet paper. This is a lucky thing so don't take it likely you selfish bastard.

(Man 1) Hey man, it must be my lucky day, I just took a shit and wiped and my ass was clean! I just had a lucky shit...
(Man 2) You lucky bastard.

12👍 8👎

bored-beating

When you beat off out of pure boredom, a lot of times you're not even horny, you're just so bored you find yourself beating off to pass time.

(Man Thinking).... Wow I'm so bored.... What could I do?...
(Man looks down) Oh! Now I know what to do, I'll beat off and find something to do after. That's bored-beating.

31👍 6👎