Tear a new asshole

To display a level of awesomeness that eliminates all competition. To make someone, usually an audience, feel as if they have been torn a new anus by your amazing display of skill.

To Tear a new asshole:

After a flute concert:
Mother, I tore them a new asshole!

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Tardius

An individual demonstrating the highest level of stupidity in any given collection of individuals.

The term is a parody of a Roman Emperor's name. The full version, Tardius Maximus, is rarely used.

"I have come to the conclusion that reality TV isn't that real"
"Well done, Tardius!"

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