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pimpsqueak

A very short, often ugly man, that for some reason can pull some serious ass. It could be because the guy has legitimate game or he has a big sausage or a combination of both. Every college campus has at least one pimpsqueak. Usher, Jeremy Piven, Prince, Joe Rogan and Jermaine Dupri are all perfect examples of pimpsqueaks.

Ron: "Is that Mandy Harris kissing on that little ugly dude over there?"
Chuck: "How in the fuck? I'd kill to bounce that ass."
Ron: "Why in the fuck would that guy get her?"
Chuck: "What can you say, the guy must be a pimpsqueak."

by John Planet August 24, 2008

61πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


shit-or-miss

The inconsistent, unpredictable quality of the shitting experience at roadside gas stations and highway rest stops.

Every person will encounter a broad spectrum in their lifetime, from the sparkling clean place that smells good, to the dark, musty smelling place with a pair of shitty underwear on the floor, a few gay sex propositions scribbled on the wall and a paper towel dispenser that hasn't been refilled since the Reagan administration.

The outdoor appearance of the building doesn't always reflect what the restroom will look like. Even if a bathroom has a good reputation, that can all change with one truck driver in a matter of seconds. It's 100% unpredictable, it's shit-or-miss.

Rod: "Okay, take this next exit, I am about to shit my pants."
Richard: "Okay Rod sure thing."
Rod: "Hurry up Richard, my stomach is really bubblin'."
Richard: "Okay Rod, what'll it be, the Shell station, or the Texaco?"
Rod: "Which one looks the cleanest?"
Richard: "The Shell station does, but you never know Rod, situations like this are shit-or-miss."
Rod: "Just hurry up asshole."

by John Planet July 22, 2009

47πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


fribble

A fribble is a dickfart. It occurs when bodily gas is expelled through a cock. It makes a noise much like the anus fart. Richard Nixon once fribbled while buttfucking his college roommate.

peasant woman: "Mother Theresa, may I have a piece of bread?"
Mother Theresa: "Yes woman, you may."

(Fart noise)

Mother Theresa: "Okay, who just fribbled? Which one of you goobers just fribbled? No more food until somebody owns up to this bullshit."

by John Planet September 15, 2007

91πŸ‘ 369πŸ‘Ž


waistline wonders

Gigantic tits that hang down near the waistline of a woman. Also known as "longies," or "saggies," these jugs are most commonly found on older women. Waistline wonders are known to cause backpain for the woman and neck pain for guys that jerk their heads to gawk at them while saying something to themselves like "jesus, those tits are fucking huge." Dog "The Bounty Hunter" Chapman's wife has a big American set of waistline wonders.

Waitress: "Hey guys, what can I get you."
Tony:"A pitcher of cold beer and a large pizza."
Waitress: "Okay, I'll be right back." (walking away)
Donnie: (to Tony) "Hot damn brother, did you see them titties."
Tony: "I always notice big titties my friend."
Donnie: "Them were some waistline wonders."
Tony: "haha, fuckin A yes they were, let's get drunk."

by John Planet June 1, 2009

46πŸ‘ 6πŸ‘Ž


fat top

A hairstyle, much like the flat top, made popular by ND head coach Charlie Weis. The fat top is a flat top worn by a really disgusting, fat, sweaty, mess of a guy. There is nothing worse than a fat guy with a flat top. Bryant Reeves, a shitty basketball player in the late 90's, known as "the big country," had the greatest fat top in NBA history, narrowly defeating Greg "the fag" Ostertag in his Utah Jazz heyday. Walter Sobchak, John Goodman's character in the movie "The Big Lebowski," was recently awarded the greatest fat top in cinema history by the American Film Institute. 72% of men with fat-tops cannot see their dick without using multiple well-placed mirrors.

ND cafeteria worker: "Hey coach, how are you?"
Coach Weis: "I'm great, I'll have my usual."
ND cafeteria worker: "the punch bowl of beef gravy with 2 pounds of bacon and a bag of cheese on top?"
Coach Weis: "yeah, and a diet coke."
ND cafeteria worker: "Good luck this weekend coach, oh, and nice fat top."
Coach Weis: (muffled, pouring bowl into face while still in line) "thank you"

by John Planet October 18, 2008

44πŸ‘ 12πŸ‘Ž


Dumphump

A dumphump occurs when you bang a chick while you're taking a dump. Shitting, wiping your ass, and then banging while sitting on the toilet is not considered a dumphump. You have to be in the process of shitting while banging for it to be considered a true dumphump. If you can time it out so that you blow a load as a huge turd is coming out, that feels great. A dumphump does not have to be performed on/over the toilet. You could fuck your girlfriend from behind and shit on your bedroom floor while doing it, and that would be considered a dumphump also. Basically, if you're shitting anywhere, while banging a chick, that is a dumphump. It's a little known fact that 32% of women have more intense orgasms when they are breathing in the smell of shit. If you haven't tried the dumphump yet, try it soon.

Todd: "Did you nail Rebecca yet you dirtbag?"
Ron: "I did more than bang her little guy, I dumphumped her at that frat party."

by John Planet August 12, 2008

51πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


wet daydream

The wet daydream occurs during the day when you are thinking about laying the bone to some hottie and you get a rock hard boner, and after it (the boner) goes down, you have a few drops of splooge in your underbriefs. Some guys may have a full load in their pants, depending on how hot of a situation they were daydreaming about.

Member of the media: "Mr. Jobs, what product will you be unveiling today?"

Steve Jobs: "This is the new Ipod, it can play music, movies, make coffee, and print U.S. currency. It is really great"

Another member of the media: "What price can consumers expect to pay for this amazing device?"

Steve Jobs: "I will answer that as soon as I get back from the restroom, I just had a major wet daydream."

by John Planet December 17, 2007

116πŸ‘ 14πŸ‘Ž