Hot Tub Snow Monkey

The guy in the hot tub that, like the Hot Tub Meerkat, can't quite commit to sitting all the way down but, damnit, they are trying, resulting in an act that resembles the Japanese Snow Monkey.

I was heading to the hot tub when i spotted the Hot Tub Snow Monkey and decided it was too fucking weird, I think i'll hit the sauna.

6👍 5👎

Crack Ho Skinny Diet

Diet so severe and lacking in nutrition, the person on it either has the goal of looking like a crack whore or trying to get back down to their birth weight. Composed of "nibbling" instead of eating, even buffet plates of food look like appetizers. Food items such as tacos and burritos are comprised of a few small pieces of rinsed turkey meat and a single sliver of cheese (if they splurge). The avid dieter even orders small waters to go with their salads to avoid the calories ice contains.

Customer: "i'll have the 3 inch turkey club sandwich with the turkey meat dragged across the bread, a pickle with no juice and a small water."
Subway: "you must be on the crack ho skinny diet."

Dieter: "I like to put lemon juice on my baked potatoe as a butter substitute, tastes just like it"
Observer: "you dumb bitch, lemon makes anything taste like LEMON!"

21👍 5👎

Myspace Weasel

Someone who sets up a blank phantom page that grants them entry into other peoples MySpace for the sole purpose of being nosey and gleaning peoples personal information without contributing anything back.

1. "How the hell did Kristin find out about last weekend?"
2. "Oh, she's a Myspace Weasel, she probably finger fucked your page for anything useful.

German Steamer

Pile of shit left for you to step on in your yard by a Dachsund.

Son of a bitch, thats a fresh german steamer I nearly stepped in.

9👍 5👎

Vollie

Volunteer Firefighter. Characterized by their custom maltese cross back window sticker and general disregard for driving safety while using their "flashers". Can also be spotted easily "off duty" (wal-mart, sonic, dollar general) wearing parts of their on-duty clothes and overtly apparent pagers. Most have a wallet badge and emergency trauma bag in their back seat containing just enough shit to get them in a slightly worse situation than they already are.

I had a fender bender and 2 Vollies stopped and held c-spine on me. Needless to say, I didn't panic and "felt" like I would be OK, mostly because they told me I would.

172👍 44👎

Boobie Dots

Titties. Breasts. Boobs. Hooters. Fun Bags.

Quit staring at my boobie dots.

4👍 4👎

Cat Eyes

The untanned area directly under a girls ass cheeks that resemble cat eyes when bent over. Resulting from neither the suns nor the tanning beds ability to shine there.

Shelly bent over and it looked like a giant pair of cat eyes staring back at me.

15👍 36👎