Vanessa Paradis

One lucky bitch. She has been Johnny Depp's girlfriend since 1998, and they have two kids together. She is a French pop singer (though her voice is horribly childish and annoying) and actress. She is only famous because of her relationship with Johnny Depp. She is a fugly woman with mad pubes, a flat chest, and a tiny and shapeless body. Her face looks like it belongs to a five year old (much like Christina Ricci). She is soooooooooooooo lucky to be with Johnny Depp (who is the SEXIEST, HOTTEST, wittiest, funniest, most talented, generous, and charming man EVER)!!! Vanessa definitely does NOT deserve to be with Him. Johnny has really bad taste in women.

Guy # 1: "Ewwww who's THAT?"

Guy # 2: "That's Vanessa Paradis."

Guy # 1: "Who is she? And why the fuck is she in a porn magazine?! I would never jack off to her!"

Guy # 2: "She's Johnny Depp's girlfriend."

# 1: "No way!!! Are you kidding me?!?!"

# 2: "I'm serious. He's been with her since 1998. He has awful taste in women."

# 1: "DAMN! I thought Johnny Depp would be dating the hottest woman in the world, not the ugliest!"

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