jonologue

A long winded speech about nothing, usually spoken by one of the varieties of Jonathan's (Johnathon, Johnathan). Almost always brought on by incredible amounts of liquor, this explanation about the fundamentals of nothing can take hours or even days to complete.

Wow, Jon was a drunk duck last night; he totally jonologued for a straight hour.

Tommy pulled a page out of J's book and jonologued about the importance of mushrooms the whole time. Fucking tool.

Emo

Emo kids can generally be spotted and identified by their awful taste in clothing, music, and shitty haircuts. They are also known to hang out in small groups, known as a gaggle after the silly N. American fowl they often sound like. Thinking themselves to be original and artsy, they often try to form bands, which will die out in the next ten years just like every other trendy social niche ever has.

The best, and most entertaining way to kill an emo, is to get them slightly buzzed, provide them with a sharp razor, and then berate them for hours on end. (i.e. describing in detail the lewd sexual acts you performed on their respective family members, favorite bands, or generally telling them how much they suck). They will usually respond by crying, trying to hit you and almost always failing, and eventually cutting themselves to ribbons, even after the blade has become dull from trying to penetrate the dense armor plated skull they all seem to have; through which no logic or creativity can possibly penetrate.

Punk: I'm shit faced
Goth: I'm tanked
Punk: Let's fuck and make a shitty baby together
Goth: Sure, I'm bored and I can whine about how bad the sex was later
Punk: That's cool, I just want to hate fuck your fat ass anyway

Ten months later...

EMO BABY IS BORN!

(And the world suffers)

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