Epazoodie

Sick, usually from something "going around", often the flu.

Don't go near Bill. He's got the epazoodie.

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Aging like a president

Aging more rapidly than normal due to stress and over-working, the same as Presidents, who seem to age prematurely while they're in office.

I've been working so hard, and you can tell by looking at me because I'm aging like a president.

My boyfriend is causing me so much stress, I'm aging like a president.

shorts

Midwest elderly slang for boxer shorts. Mainly used by older folks, nearly always white boxers.

You can't go out there like that to get the paper. You're in your shorts.

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Old Betsey

Older mans' name for his car, or sometimes cane or walker. It's the thing that gets him around. Thought to be a derivation of a name originally referring to a horse.

Dad's still getting around pretty good with old betsey.

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Dad gum

A two-word swear that substitutes for a more offensive two-word swear that ends in damn.

I hurt my dad gum finger opening that jar of pigs feet.

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