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Darquankus McBunky

Darquankus McBunky was an accomplished military general that commanded the 23rd regiment of the Blundercrank National Army. He fought alongside many notable figures as Drake, Bobo DonQuoofy, Chief Keef, Yeat, Quandale Dingle, Abraham Lincoln, as well as Eric and Jonathan. He was slaughtered on April 4th, 1922, when he was caught in the crossfire of a shootout between the Blundercrank Mafia and my good friend Mark, being shot in the forehead 32 times. He was rushed to the hospital where he underwent an emergency rectal transplant procedure. After a month in the hospital, he started to recover, however he contracted terminal lumbago and died shortly after.

Darquankus being remembered by some notable historical figures:

Abraham Lincoln - “He was a good man… filled with joy, carbon molecules and an infectious lens of positivity through which he viewed the world around him”

Yeat - “I’m still mourning his loss, please get these microphones out of my face”

Jonathan - “He was a good man, inspiring father and brave leader who - ” ***remainder of quote lost in office fire***

Teacher: ok class, who do you look up to?

Student: I look up to Darquankus McBunky because he is so brave

Teacher: yes

by Jonathan Gunkus March 30, 2022


Invidiance

A feeling of hopelessness, dread, insecurity, envy and hatred felt when you see a lifestyle you know you will never live, a beautiful girl you know would never look your way, or an attractive person you know you will never look like.

Different from envy in the sense that invidiance is accompanied by an overwhelming wave of depression and self hatred and usually physically manifests as your stomach turning or aching.

“When I see her walking with that guy who is significantly more attractive than me, I feel a sense of invidiance. I feel sick, sad and hateful towards myself and others.”

by Jonathan Gunkus March 2, 2023


Greenpilled

A mixture of conservative and liberal ideologies, being "greenpilled" encompasses many different values and beliefs:

- A belief in traditional family
- Helping the earth
- An awareness of and opposition to the failures of corporatism
- A hatred of pharmaceutical companies
- Advocacy for gardening and green living
- Supporting regenerative agriculture
- Advocating on behalf of indigenous populations
- Opposing Fascism
- The importance of masculinity
- The maintenance of faith
- Opposition to industry-tied science
- Ecoterrorism
- Opposing Communism
- Traditional sexuality
- Equal Rights
- Awareness of and opposition to government corruption
- Opposition to eating bugs and living in pods

"I just learned about the Monsanto papers, I'm totally greenpilled now"

by Jonathan Gunkus September 8, 2022

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