CLEANPOT

<i>n</i> An exceptionally fastidious person.
<i>v</i> to clean s.o.'s pot - to annoy someone beyond the point of hysteria with needling, sniping comments.

"Ah mate, he cleaned my pot up a treat" i.e. Oh friend, he annoyed me immensely."

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old hat

Vulva or vagina, esp. of a lady the senior side of 35. Popular term in the Victorian era.

Be careful dismounting that boneshaker, Delilah, lest the world and his dog see your old hat.

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brown alarm

A fart so loud it wakes up the farter and/or their bedfellow(s).

I would have been late for work this morning, but Cynthia's brown alarm woke me up in time.