a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

This expression shows the benefits of masterbation over intercourse by saying a bird (your penis) is better in your hand than having both your penises in a bush (vagina).

Women are sometimes not worth the hassle, headache or monitary cost to keep around, despite giving you sex.

Rob: Y'know, Greg, my girlfriend wanted another $20 from me this morning.

Greg: Oh yeah? What for?

Rob: I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. I bet she's cheating on me.

Greg: Why do you think that?

Rob: Well she borrows money from me all the time, and I'm stupid and jump to conclusions.

Greg: Well, my dad always told me that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Rob: You're right.

/corny story

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