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couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024


couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching p0rnpoise, because the concept of true human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave Vance fellow turned out to be a real, self-described couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024


couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024


couch dolphin

1. (noun) A colloquial name for the Indo-Appalachian right-finned porpoise, usually found gesticulating betwixt couch cushions very racistly. Swims to the very far right and has a parasitic relationship with the “greatest” and whitest of sharks, when convenient.

2. (noun) A person who has intimate relations with an upholstered sitting apparatus, while they are watching ‘Flipper’ reruns, ‘Zeus and Roxanne,’ etc. , because the concept of human connection perplexes them.

Well… that Jim Dave fellow turned out to be a real couch dolphin. Yikes. Is this why Cleveland had to get rid of Sea World?

by Judith Jetson Lightyear July 27, 2024