Bollocks

In modern short terms: Bullshit
In old terms: An eggplant

Example 1
Person 1: I'm getting a girl at the club today
Person 2: Bollocks, you're too much of a dummy or weakling to get one

Example 2
Person 1: My boss just keeps pushing me around and expects me to be his punching bag. He barely pays me enough too.
Person 2: Then bro, quit. You don't wanna be grabbing bollocks all of the time