Boy Paste

Another term for man fat, jism or spunk. Usually served warm

"What ho, John," cried Dave, "I see you lost that game of sticky biscuit"
"Oh crap," whimpered John, flushing. "Have I still got boy paste in my beard?"

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mersey trout

a turd: descriptive of the only fish-shaped items found in the river Mersey (running through the city of Liverpool in England)

Richard sat on the khazi and launched a Mersey Trout

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khazi

A toilet (usage chiefly British)

Richard sat on the khazi and launched a mersey trout

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alert the coastguard

Exclamation given before passing a gigantic turd

"Quick, Maureen," cried Joe, "Alert the coastguard - Ian's disappeared into the gents again"