Ontario

A really bland province in Canada.

Ontario’s culture is rooted in pussy loyalists that were too cowardly to stand up to the British during the American Revolution. After we sent the British on their way, the loyalists did not have the balls to face the music so they trotted over to Upper Canada which is now Ontario. Otherwise we would have burned them with sticks and beat their asses with bats and chains.

Ontario is made up of cities like Toronto that like to think they are just as genuine and cool as American cities but they just don't have the special jazz. The citizens are either pasty white law abiding puritans or super liberal new age types that pride themselves at being progressive. By the way the minorities are a bunch of lame poser wanksters so you can’t accuse me of picking on only the pasty whites.

Ottawa is a nice city but the core of the province made up of places like Waterloo, Hamilton, Toronto and Belleville which are completely lame. Unless you want to party with a bunch of stiff boring wussies, don’t go to Ontario. Montreal on the other hand is pretty ill.

I don't know what to say about Ontario. It's kind of like the mashed potatoes without the gravy.

I went to Toronto Ontario and it just didn't feel like the real thing.

Ontario Mom: Bradley, don't forget to wear your sunscreen and your helmet when you are out there. And remember to use hand signals for your turns when you are on your bicycle.

Pasty White Bradley: Yes mommy. I would never disobey the law. God Save the Queen and go Blue Jays even though all of our sports teams suck.

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