whack-a-moling

When one is needing a turd SO bad that the turd is protruding from the sphincter and retracting at a constant rate, thus giving the faeces the appearance of a "whack-a-mole."

"Oh man I need to get out this car, I'm Whack-a-moling!!!"

"Sorry I am late boss. The stairs were a nightmare with this whack-a-mole in my arse."

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